You all tell me what you want me to be.
You all tell me what you expect me to be.
I’m going to show you all who I really am.
I’ll forge my own path if I have to.
Get ready. This is me.
was the best week I’ve had in a long time. A few of the people reading this post are the reason for it. Thank you for your powerful friendship and healing smiles.
When I am sad
I am sad
But when I’m happy
Oh God I am happy
There’s just no place in between
For us to meet
What a whirlwind. March was by far the fastest month to go by this year. It was full of big decisions, too.
After taking a couple of hits during February, I feel like I’ve healed. I feel a peace rising inside me, and where there used to be feelings of longing, there is now a drive of fulfillment. There was a strong imbalance in my life. I didn’t know what was important. School/Work/Friends/Family/God. What was the most important? I didn’t know. So I had to prioritize and let go of things. In our culture, I know that work is important and valued, but I had to let that go for now because if was blocking me from who I want to be and what I want to do. That was a heavy weight that kept me from marching on, and now, I feel much more free.
Focusing on my relationships, I have found a certainly that I can depend of certain people to provide support. And even though I still spend much of my time alone, I don’t feel lonely. I feel empowered. I feel alive.
I’ve been trying to read and write more and re-discover my passion. I think I’ve been neglecting my writing voice because I’m afraid of what I’m going to say or I’m afraid that I’ll mess up. But then I remember how most of the work that other people really like from me, I though was horrible. I think I need to remember the words from “Y Tu Mamá También”:
“La vida es como la espuma, por eso hay que darse como el mar.”
"Life is like the surf, so give yourself away like the sea."